Oh the Worry

I'm anxiously awaiting Andrew's next cardiology appointment.  Although, I'm terrified at the same time.  Probably a month ago I started noticing that his lips were not quite pink.  I panicked the first day I noticed it.  I consulted Dr. Google who told me that as long as the inside of mouth wasn't blue it wasn't an emergency.  Since that date his lips seem to change colors often usually just a dusky gray but once a distinctive blue.  He's happy and cheerful during these "episodes" so I've kept it in the back of mind as something to bring up at the next appointment in January.

Last night his hands were a dark purple and his nail beds were blue.  I'll admit I'm worried now.  His hands are always cold too.  The rest of his body will be nice and warm and his hands are icebergs.  Its probably nothing (I hope!) but what if it isn't?  I hate all these what ifs.  It's so hard.  I'm constantly checking him over now.  Turning the lights up to get a better look, moving his hands in different directions to take a look at his nail beds, tilting his head to look at his lips and mouth.  I wish there was a button I could push that would give me his stats or tell me he was ok.

I hope I get better at this.  I think they should off a heart parent college course to tell me everything I need to know.  I feel like I don't know anything and the little things probably worry me more then they need to.