And it's a...

HEALTHY BABY!!

I should have posted Friday night.  I posted to facebook but forgot about the blog.

I was so nervous before the ultrasound Friday morning.  Dave kept getting after me at home because I was literally pacing.  Once we got to the hospital I was so happy to see that our sonographer was one of the same sonographers we had when we found out Andrew's diagnosis.  She remembered us so that made it a little better.  We were in the same room which was eerie but I didn't think too much of it.  She took all her measurements and looked at the heart last.  We also found out we are having a baby girl.  What a perfect addition to our family.

Of course I over analyzed everything that was said.  She said "being only 18 weeks the heart is about the size of my pinky nail so we may not get the pictures we need."  That translated to me as "I already see problems."  Nope not the case!  She said "baby has such a pretty heart"  and "oh my gosh you guys, this is so beautiful!"  That is when I cried.  I didn't even realize it but felt the tears roll down to my ears.  As she finished up and looked all her pictures she gave me a little scare again.  She wanted to take one more look (I think at the brain)  and did it really quickly then told me to stay put as she was going to check with Dr. Rose.  Oh no, what did she see?  She couldn't find Dr. Rose at that moment and told us she thought we were good to go.  Phew!!

Back to the waiting room to wait for the follow up appointment with Dr. Rose.  Once we got in to see him he came in and told us the ultrasound pictures looked wonderful and that he was so happy for us.  I love that man, he is so darn happy and genuine.  He is in the perfect profession.  He then told us he would schedule us for a fetal echo just to be sure everything is perfect with the warning that they may find something ultrasound didn't pick up.  I'm not really worried for that now.  Talk to me the day before and I may have changed my mind.  :o) 

The walk back to the car was simply amazing.  It was a HUGE difference from the last time we walked that walk together.  I could hardly walk last time and this time I wanted to skip through the halls!  This big weight has been lifted from my chest and it feels so great!  We did a little shopping and of course bought a "little sister" onsie and another little outfit.  I'm so excited for my little girl.

I came home tonight and decided to look at the pictures we got from the ultrasound.  They have a new technology where they can scan pictures to disc for you to take home.  So cool!  I was shocked to find 3 short videos on there as well.  The first one I opened just happened to be a video of baby's heart beating.  Tears again and I just can't believe how lucky we are.  I wish I could figure out how to block out my personal information to show the video.  A picture is just going to have to do.

Thank you for your thoughts and prayers!

Tomorrow

Tomorrow morning I have my anatomy ultrasound.  I am terrified.  I've been having lots of heart palpitations today which I usually have when I'm full of anxiety and I felt physically sick for most of the day.  Thankfully the ultrasound is at 9am so I won't have to wait all day for it.  Extra views have been ordered of the heart so they will get all the pictures they need.  I'm sure if there is any concern they will get us into cardiology right away.  After the ultrasound we will meet with my high risk doctor, Dr. Rose.  He is seriously the greatest doctor ever.  He was there the day we found out about Andrew's defects and he was/is so caring.  I am happy to be in his care in case something is wrong.

I had a quick ultrasound with my family med doctor on Wednesday.  Her comment during the ultrasound was, "well I'm not a sonographer but I see 4 chambers of the heart".  Well great!  Does she realize that there are plenty of defects that don't have much to do with the chambers?!  My response was "well we had 4 chambers before and that didn't mean anything".  And she also almost seemed surprised that I was nervous for the Level II ultrasound.  Come on lady, where's the compassion?

Not many people get it.  I keep getting "do you know what you're having yet?" or "I bet you're hoping for a girl!"  Honestly, I would really like a little girl BUT I really wouldn't mind having another boy.  What I really really want is a perfectly healthy, happy, beautiful baby.  When I express my fear people either change the subject or say "oh it will be just fine" without much feeling.  Thanks, glad you care.  I've come to the conclusion that no one will understand unless they have been there.  It's still hard to not be hurt sometimes by their words.

All I have left to say is there better be a healthy baby in there. 

Oh yeah AND I'm hoping to be sharing a very positive, happy post tomorrow!!

Finally!

I've been having issues with my wardrobe for a couple of weeks now.  Because of my weight loss and being 20 pounds lighter then I was in my last pregnancy none of my maternity pants fit.  They are huge in the thighs and just do not look good.  My fat pants are too big and my current pants are now too small!  I've been trying the whole belly band thing and it just isn't working anymore! 

There are a couple of reasons I haven't gone out to buy anything.  1.  We are short on extra funds and I'm hate dipping into savings and only put things on my credit card that I will payoff at the end of the month.  2.  I'm scared.  I need to get over it but in the back of my head there is a huge WHAT IF sketched into my skull.

Somehow I got past it today and bought 2 pairs of pants in a LARGE!!  Whoop, whoop! and 3 shirts on the clearance rack - 1 large one!!.  As crazy as it sounds, I'm excited for work tomorrow and to be comfortable!

I can sense some excitement which is so good and I'm getting happier.  :o)